


The Perfect Date(s)

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, CIA, Car Chases, Dating, F/M, Fluff, Hilarity Ensues, Kissing, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 21:53:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/984048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This Means War AU, sort of. </p><p>Leonard needs to start dating, Christine makes him a profile on itsfate.net through which he meets Carol Marcus. Now this could be the start of his happy ending if he hadn't of sparked the interest of one James T. Kirk while at the video store. Leo goes from a complete dry spell to dating two incredible, and incredibly different, people. What Leo doesn't know is that they're both CIA operatives, he's under their surveillance, and they happen to be partners.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perfect Date(s)

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to cheer myself up because I am sick - this is what happened.

“It was the most humiliating moment ever.” Leo huffs.

“So Pamela’s dating a new guy, huh?” Christine sighs.

“And what kind of name is _Gary_?”  Leo scowls.

“Oh honey.” Christine pouts, trying to hold back a smirk. “You should have told her you can’t date at the moment because you’re still healing from penile reduction surgery.” Leo scoffs, rolling his eyes. This is why he loves Christine – she knows exactly how to rub his ego.

“I never know what to say when I’m around her. I can’t believe I let her talk me into coming to this godforsaken state.” Leo pouts. “Every time I see her I feel like a damned fool, I left my job, my friends, my _family_. I mean my daughter is halfway across the country because I followed that witch out here.”

“Well _I’m_ happy that you moved out here, we have a happy life together.” Christine insists. “And Jo loves spending time in San Francisco.”

“I just thought she was my person, you know? Especially after everythin’ that happened with Joss.” Leo frowns. “Clay damned Treadway.”

“We need to get you out there.” She says, adding another sugar to her coffee and pulling at the neck of her purple nurse’s scrubs. “Get _you_ dating again.”

“I date.” Leo insists.

“You _have_ dated, like _once_.” Christine states. “You’re not _dating_. Not seriously.”

“Well it’s difficult.” Leo huffs.

“It doesn’t have to be.” Christine counters.

“Not this again.” Leo rolls his eyes, shoving his arms into his navy hospital zip up. “If you start with this online dating thing again I’m having my lunch outside.”

“So you can just complain about the cold?” Christine smirks.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t. And I’m serious about dating online; I don’t even know what your problem is.” Christine says, pulling her laptop off the side of the staffroom table. Leo doesn’t even sigh as she powers it up, favouring a heated tirade instead.

“My problem? Do you watch the news? Or all those programs about what happens to online daters. Do you know how many lunatics are out there? I could end up as a skin suit, or in someone’s trunk.” Leo rambles, eyebrows dancing like drunken sailors.

“Don’t you think that’s a little dramatic?” Christine rolls her eyes. “You’re not going to end up in anybody’s trunk, if you’re lucky somebody will end up in your trunk.” Christine adds, patting Leo on the thigh and then his arse. “That’s your trunk.” She says with a chuckle and Leo can’t help but laugh too.

…

Well he laughs until he gets home and is greeted by an email from Christine with a link to his new ‘it’s fate’ profile page.

…

He ends up at a bar with some a woman called Carol Marcus. And in that moment Leo has never been happier to have allowed Christine to manage his social life. She’s stunning, pretty blonde bob, legs that go on forever, green and blue heterochromia that makes her even more striking. Plus she actually looks like someone he could see himself dating, she’s well put together, sophisticated and she smiles openly.

“You must be Leonard?” She says, pulling out the chair opposite from him and sitting down. “I’m Carol.” She introduces.

“Damn.” Leonard breathes and Carol’s smile grows wider. “Hey there.” He says taking her proffered hand.

“Nice to meet you.” She says.

“You too.” The server comes over and they order drinks, just coffee even though they’re in a bar. It’s only four o’clock and it’s been a long time since Leo’s entertained the thought of drinking so early. “You really are somethin’” Leo says gently and Carol looks away bashfully.

“Would you be happy to say that a few more times, because your voice is amazing.” She returns and now it’s Leo’s turn to blush. They steer away from delivering compliments back and forth to amiable chatter, swapping easy anecdotes and asking each other mildly personal questions, clearly assessing compatibility and what not. Carol is impressed that Leo is head of the ED at San Francisco Medical while Leo stares in mild amazement when Carol informs him she’s actually a weapons designer for the military. They finish their drinks and swap numbers.

“Leo you’re incredible.” Carol says and Leo thinks she sounds genuine.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” He says easily, letting his drawl turn honey smooth. They stand and he guides her out of the bar, kissing her cheek and she giggles.

“Okay so I’m going to go have a cold shower.” She informs him with a twinkle in her eyes.

“I’d better do the same.” Leo chuckles, waiting until she’s hailed a cab before turning to walk away. It’s still early and he’s not on call this weekend so Leo slips into the video store and contents himself with heading to the ‘classics’ section. He’s pretty sure he knows he’s just going to pick up ‘Gone With the Wind’ and recite Rhett Butler’s lines all night. He decides against it though, and reaches for a DVD case he’s never seen before. He’s met with the touch of another hand, they both withdraw and Leo looks up into what must exist as the bluest eyes on earth. Leo blinks back his awe and flexes his fingers.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Blue eyes says with a smile.

“No, that’s no problem, you take it.” Leo insists.

“No, no.” The guy says. “It’s fine. You should have it.”

“Are you sure?” Leo counters.

“Ye- you know what? You’re not going to like it, it’s pretty twisted and you’ll see the ending coming from a mile away.” The guy explains.

“And how would you know what I like?” Leo says, drawl dropping deeper, because he figures this guy must be in some way interested to keep this conversation going for so long.

“I know movies.” The man says, and then steps slightly closer. “And guys.”

“Oh really?” Leo scoffs slightly; slipping passed the blonde and heading back down the aisle. “Well, why don’t you show me what I want?” Leo’s pretty sure he can feel the man’s grin burning a hole in his nape but continues along the aisle without further remark. When the other man’s footfalls stop Leo turns around to see him holding up a DVD case with a triumphant little smirk.

“The Lady Vanishes?” Leo reads, although he already knows the cover by sight. “And why’s that?”

“Well firstly you can never go wrong with Hitchcock, _ever_ , it’s got comedy, drama, romance, it’s a thriller, it’s classy but not stuffy and it’s a little obscure so if you haven’t seen it you’ll thank me for introducing it to you and if you have, well, you’ll know what a good choice it is.” The guy explains.

“Well I have seen it.” Leo says slowly, batting his eyelashes once and staring almost doe eyed and the guy. “And it is a _really_ good choice.” But the guy looks too smug and Leo has always had a streak of something wicked running through him. “But not as good as Rebecca, Notorious, Vertigo, or pretty much any of his films from nineteen-sixty to seventy-two, actually… it’s sorta a _second-tier_ title.” And Leo really enjoys the mix of confusion and almost outrage settling across the guys face.

“A second tier…” And then the guy shakes his head. “You know what let’s scratch the fi-”

“Look.” Leo huffs. “I see you surveying the prospects, and I get it. You come in here looking to pick someone up. They’re renting a movie so clearly they don’t have a date for the night. We’re easy targets. And you look like the kind of guy interested in a one day rental, if you catch my meanin’. But if you knew anything about guys, and anything about _me_ , you’d know I’m perfectly capable of choosing my own movies.” Leo states picking up a stray copy of The Godfather that’s on a misplaced shelf. “Thanks though.” He grins at the guy’s look of utter dismay. “Happy huntin’.”

…

“There’s someone here to see you.” Christine says with a little glint in her eye. “He’s cute.”

“I’m on my break, Chris.” Leo huffs, pulling his coffee cup closer to him and pasting on a scowl to rival all scowls.

“Exactly.” Christine smiles. “He’s not a patient.”

“Then what is he doing in the hospital?” Leo questions.

“I don’t know but you’re not going to find out sitting in here on your ass.” Christine states. “I’ll page you if you’re needed.”

So Leo heads down to the front desk and audibly huffs at the person he’s met with. “Nice to see you too.” Blue eyes says and Leo just raises an eyebrow and sneers a bit.

“How in God’s name did you find me?” Leo demands, completely exacerbated with this cocky, arrogant, _smug_ son of a bitch.

“I have my ways.”

“Okay, let me rephrase that… _Why_ did you find me?”  Leo questions. “I really don’t need a stalker.”

“No stalking to be done.” The guy smiles. “Jim Kirk.” He introduces.

“I don’t care.” Leo says. “Now as you can see, I’m a doctor, so I really do have better ways of spendin’ my time.”

“Ouch.” Jim says with a smirk. “You’re pretty uptight, huh?” He adds, stepping closer to Leo.

“You look like you’d be good at the whole flirtin’ thing, but you know what they say appearances can be deceiving an’ all.” Leo plasters a smirk of his own onto his face.

“I could woo you into the ground.” Jim assures. “You’d be so wooed you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself.”

“With lines like those? I’m sure.” Leo huffs, turning round to head back into the safety of the staff room.

“Try me. Eight o’clock at The Fleet.” Jim says.

“I really don’t think so.” Not only is Jim the single most irritating man Leo’s ever encountered but The Fleet is a young, preppy nightclub and that really isn’t his scene.

“Well I mean I guess I could stick around a little while, you work with some really pretty nurses.” Jim smirks and that makes Leo even more annoyed.

“If I say yes will you leave? This is my _job_ , this is a hospital, this isn’t the video store and it’s not your playground.” Leo declares.

“Eight pm, tonight?” Jim confirms with a triumphant little grin.

“I’m busy tonight.” Leo counters.

“Tomorrow night, then.” Jim says, completely undeterred.

“Fine.” Leo huffs.

“Fine.” Jim grins.

“Fine.” Leo says again before walking – stomping – away.

“You smell nice.” Jim calls out over the reception and Leo has to bite back a growl and just keep on walking.

…

Leo is glad he can wipe away the lingering irritation Jim Kirk’s presence at the hospital today ignited within him before his date with Carol. He’s taking her to the travelling Fun Fair that has stopped in town for the week, not only is it a night time event but it’s a bit different and will give them more of a chance to talk without the intensity that a dinner date often affords. She’s a good shot on most of the carnival games and they have a few intimate moments with feeding each other cotton candy and a variety of other sweet treats. And even though Leo vehemently hates the roller coaster he acquiesces to her request and he tries not to throw up on her. The gentle touch of her hand to his forearm is settling though and in the end, it isn’t all that bad.

“I had a really good time tonight.” She says.

“So did I.” He agrees, leaning down to place a kiss to her cheek. But she deftly turns her head and their lips meet, a sugary sweet kiss that is brief and chaste but unlike anything Leo’s had in a really long while. It reminds him of his and Jocelyn’s first kiss at their High School Prom in all its gentle innocence. When he pulls back Carol is smiling. After they’ve bid each other good night and started to walk their separate ways, when he throws a glance back in her direction she’s still smiling. It warms his heart.

…

“I shouldn’t go out with Kirk.” Leo says, snagging a Dorito from Christine and chomping dramatically. “It’s not right, not while I’m datin’ Carol.”

“Oh my God, Leo.” Christine rolls her eyes. “You have a six month dry spell and now two grade-A hotties fall at your feet, you need to take advantage of this. For divorcees everywhere who can’t get _any_.”

“Divorcees everywhere?” Leo scoffs. “I’m a doctor, Christine, not a superhero.”

…

Christine convinces him to give Jim a shot, so he slips on a swanky suit, one he hasn’t had cause to wear in six months, a navy two piece with a white shirt that he’s left open because he doesn’t have a tie, and he waits in line at The Fleet, hoping to God Jim shows up before he gets to the bouncer. Leo hears the sound of a car that he knows, without looking, will be beautiful. The purr of it makes Leo’s eyes almost roll back inside his head. The sight of Jim emerging from the cherry red ‘65 Chevy Corvette convertible in a three piece, charcoal pinstripe suit makes Leo’s heart - begrudgingly - stutter.  Leo is way more familiar with the soft curves of a woman but this man really is a sight to behold, all perfect blonde hair, sharp angles and big blue eyes. Leo scoffs at himself and scowls when Jim comes to greet him.

“I didn’t think you’d show.” Jim admits with a grin.

“I’m a man of my word.” Leo says through unamused, now pursed, lips.

“Come on.” Jim says, guiding Leo to the front of the queue with a firm hand at the base of his back. Leo wants to comment at the complete overfamiliarity Jim adopts but is more concerned about losing the spot he’s spent nearly twenty minutes maintaining. Jim looks at him and smirks. “Don’t worry.” He says and they walk straight past security, Jim murmuring a few words to the beefy guy manning the entrance. Leo thinks he heard the murmur of ‘cupcake’ somewhere in their exchange but doesn’t comment.

Jim greets the bartender with an over enthusiastic: “Scotty, dude, how’ve you been?” And then it’s the DJ: “Sulu, my man, how’s it going?”

Mostly it irritates Leo but it also makes him uncomfortable, Jim is showing him off like some prized stallion and it makes him feel like prime rump steak in the front of the butcher’s window. Jim is chatting to another guy, a young curly haired kid – Pasha maybe? – about vodka choices and Leo sees it as the perfect time to make his escape.

He’s only just crossed the street when Jim catches up to him. “Where’re you going, we just got here.”

“You know what? I’m not the guy for you.” Leo insists, trying to remain halfway polite, Jim shakes his head and looks completely amazed.

“Just- come on. Come back inside. We’ll get a drink.” Jim says.

“It’s really alright.” Leo counters. “I’ve done this, back in high school, being on the football team I had enough time to do the partying and the dancing and the drowning my liver.”

“The football team?” Jim perks up, almost leering. “So that’s where the shoulder’s come from.”

“Unbelievable.” Leo says. “See this is why we wouldn’t work.”

“Why? _What?_ I just said the football team; it was a perfectly valid response.” Jim splutters.

“An’ the exact reason why I’m walkin’ away right now.” Leo says, trying to remember which way down the street he needs to veer.

“Why?” Jim says, suddenly a little unamused himself. “Because you’re uptight and you don’t know how to have a good time?”

“No.” Leo huffs. “Because you have the emotional intelligence of a fifteen year old boy. You honestly think I’d be interested in going out with you? Or going _back up in the club_?” Leo says, adding what he imagines to be a condescending yet ‘down with the kids’ lilt to his accent.

“Well thank you judgmental debutante.” Jim counters.

“Can we just call it a night?” Leo questions.

“Can we _please_ call it a night?” Jim agrees.

“Goodnight.” Leo snaps, turning to walk away.

“Sayonara.” Jim scoffs, moving to head back across the road.

“Have fun.” Leo mutters.

“Ciao.” Jim counters. “Go back to the retirement village; I’m sure they’ll be happy to have you.”

Leo doesn’t even bother commenting on that ridiculous statement but before he can blink he’s met with the sight of Pamela, hand in hand with her new squeeze, Gary _fucking_ Mitchell, and his brain temporarily shot circuits.

“Dammit.” Leo says. “This cannot be happening.” They’re smiling and laughing and getting closer and closer and Leo clearly should never be put in situations of decision making that do not involve a scalpel because he’s calling Jim back. Jim who’s looking at him like he’s crazy but still has those pretty blue eyes twinkling all over the goddamned place. “Kiss me.” Leo orders and Jim looks like a person being spoken to in a language they clearly do not, and never will understand.

“What? No. Why would I-”

“Just do it. You have to-”

“No. What’re you-” They’re grappling at each other, Jim to extricate himself and Leo to try and bring their mouths together. “I’m not going to kiss you. You’re bipolar, you’re-” But Leo’s determination to kiss is clearly stronger than Jim’s determination for them not to kiss and their lips mash together, almost painfully and then it’s just an awkward press of lips with Leo holding Jim in place. But something eases away - the tension, probably - and suddenly they’re kissing for real and Leo isn’t tracking how authentic this will look but is solely focused on Jim’s tongue and how it’s skirting around his own and how his heart is beating faster than his resting metabolic rate even though he hasn’t been running. He can feel Jim’s clenching on his shoulders soften as he tries to deepen the kiss.

“Leonard.” Pamela coughs, trying to get his attention. He lets Jim kiss him for a few more moments before pulling away.

“Oh.” Leo says nonchalantly. “Pamela.” Jim doesn’t look too impressed when they pull apart and he’s clearly more confused then he’d ever care to admit but Leo can’t exactly stop now. “What a thing, running into you again. This is my boyfriend, Jim.” Leo nods his head, remembering to breathe and not entertaining the thought of what could happen if Jim retains his sanity and simply refuses to comply. Pamela looks to Jim for some sort of conformation but Jim still has his shoulder to her and Gary, facing Leo and staring at him intently. His frown disappears, maybe because of the pleading look in Leo’s eyes. He turns to Pamela with an outstretched hand and smiles.

“James Kirk.” He introduces, charm set to the highest notch. Leo contains his relief, only just.

“He’s a-” And then realises he has no idea what to say.

“Pilot.” Jim says seamlessly. “A captain.”

“Oh wow.” Pamela says, looking pointedly at Gary. Leo knows that look of disappointment and knows about Pamela’s thing for men in uniforms. “You must have seen a lot of amazing things.”

“Yeah, but you know, I gotta be honest. I don’t know what’s more of a blessing, travelling the world, or waking up next to Leo every morning.” Jim says gently, throwing a longing look in Leo’s direction. Even Leo believes him. _Fuck_ , he’s good.

“Oh.” Pamela sighs and pouts and looks at Leo with a longing glance of her own.

“And did you know he was on the football team in High School?” Jim grins and Leo remembers what an annoying fool he is.

“No.” Pamela says looking at Leo. “I didn’t know that.”

“Didn’t think so.” Jim counters with a smile.

“Well, ah…” Gary says awkwardly. “We have to go.” He says, more to Pamela, who’s almost drooling at the two men opposite her.

“Of course.” Jim says. “By now Paloma.”

“It’s Pamela.” She corrects.

“Right, of course.” Jim smiles, taking Leo’s hand and leading him off down the street.

“Thank you.” Leo huffs once they’re at a safe distance away.

“I’m sorry what?” Jim turns to face Leo. “That ear’s a little deaf.”

“I said thank you.” Leo states a little louder. “God, you don’t have to be such an asshole about it.”

“That was all kinds of crazy, right there.” Jim scoffs. “You owe me an explanation for whatever just happened.” He adds waving his hand back in the other direction of the street. “I know a little pizza place around the corner.” And the teasing and the spite have left his tone. It’s the most genuine Leo’s ever heard him and he realises he really does owe Jim a thank you, and an explanation, and probably an apology.

“Okay.” Leo nods. “Okay, you’re right. I do.”

So Leo tells Jim about Joss and Joanna, about the divorce, about Pamela and moving out to San Francisco like a damned fool. “And she wasn’t the woman I thought she was. I made a mistake.” Leo finishes.

“I don’t believe in mistakes.” Jim says.

“Well that’s very convenient for a guy like you.” Leo jibes.

“No, really.” Jim says, looking earnest. “Mistakes are a no-win scenario and I don’t believe in those either. Even when you think the world has gone to shit. It’s the mistakes that make us who we are. And if you think you can’t win something then you won’t, you don’t believe in no-win scenarios and you’ll always work your way around them.” Jim explains.

“You’re very smart.” Leo says begrudgingly but without spite.

“Mmhm.” Jim agrees.

“For a club rat.” Leo adds and Jim bursts into a grin, rolling his eyes.

“For a club rat.” Jim agrees.

…

“I can’t believe this is my biggest problem, last month I was dating a bottle of bourbon and this month I’ve got two damn people.” Leo says, he saw Carol again last Monday after work for dinner and Jim picked him up from the hospital on Wednesday for lunch and now Christine has chosen to stage an intervention.

“Firstly, don’t talk about bourbon like it’s a person, it makes you sound like an alcoholic.” Christine states. “And secondly, be sensible about this, you didn’t even like Jim until like last Saturday, in fact, I remember you very much disliking him while you were gushing on about Carol and her heterochromia. Why don’t you do like a pros list, or cons, cons are easier to think of and you can look for any deal breakers.”

“Okay.” Leo says, nodding slowly. “That’s not the worst idea.”

“Oh thanks.” Christine scoffs.

“Um, lemme think.” Leo says, pulling his chair closer to Christine. “Well, ah. Okay, Jim, Jim… ah, I’m pretty sure the kid has a death wish; you know he wants to take me up in a chopper? I don’t know if I could keep up with him. But then Carol, I don’t know… Sometimes I think it’s too safe, too earnest.”

“Safe is boring.” Christine says.

“But then with Jim, I don’t know, sometimes I think he doesn’t care about anything more than he cares about himself. It’s like he’s never had to grow up. Never had to shoulder responsibility. And I feel like he’s more closed off.”

“But mystery is sexy.” Christine adds.

“I dunno. I have a kid, Chris. I should be thinking about what is best for Jo, she doesn’t need any more screw ups from me.” Leo says ruefully.

“You can’t do this for Jo, Leo. This is your life; it has to be for _you_.” Christine insists, and so the conversation has mostly come full circle and Leo’s pretty much gotten nowhere.

…

Then things get a bit weird for Leo, Carol takes him paintballing and nearly murders the rest of the squad with a paintball gun and Jim adopts an abandoned Border Collie puppy named Bow. “I’m damn near losin’ my mind, Christine. Just as I find a flaw they do something that means I have to completely reassess everything. And I can’t help feelin’ like this is somehow my doin’. Like they can sense it, and it’s makin’ them crazy.”

“So what are you going to do?” Christine wonders.

“What any rational guy in my position would do.” Leo says.

“Break up with them?” Christine wonders morosely.

“Sleep with them.” Leo counters. “Sex tie breaker.”

“Thank God.” Christine grins.

“Forgive my heathen soul.” Leo says dryly and Christine can’t hold back her laughter.

…

Carol’s next date happens to be first, they’ve been out to a local art studio and they followed that up at a tapas bar and now they’re back at Carol’s. It’s not how Leo would have imagined it, it’s a renovated warehouse and more masculine then Carol portrays herself to be. It’s lit with hundreds of little candles and she looks beautiful with that sort of low illumination, it’s sexy and he wants her so bad. But then, the most ridiculous thing happens - or maybe not so ridiculous on account of all the candles - it’s starts _raining_. Well no, the fire alarm goes off and sets off the sprinklers, but the room seems to be the sight of its own mini rainstorm. Leo ushers Carol outside and ends up driving her to a friend’s house.

Then two days later Leo spends an evening on Bernard’s Hill with Jim, sitting at a bar taking in the beautiful view and the slightly cooler air. Jim looks at him like he’s the most gorgeous thing on earth but Leo’s still not sure, doesn’t know if Jim just wants in his pants. However, it seems stupid to deny the man if that’s what they’re both after. Jim’s house is the definition of slick, there’s a pool in the _ceiling_ for Christ’s sake. Leo heads to the cloak room to put his stuff down and when he gets back… well Jim is on the couch, _snoring_.

If there is a God out there, he really doesn’t want Leo getting laid.

…

Leo’s having Jo for the weekend and so dating is temporarily suspended, thank God really because the doctor’s sure he would have gone insane otherwise. They head to the aquarium and then the observatory, Joanna tells him about her new fifth grade teacher and all her friends who are still in the same class. They talk about math and animals and the fact that she is certain that if she isn’t a ballet dancer or an astronaut then she’ll be a doctor. So Leo takes her to a little bookshop in the Castro and they stock up, then they head to a toy store so she can kit her room out a bit.

They’re in a diner sharing a sundae when Jim walks in. Jim catches Leo’s eyes and looks shocked for a second, like they’d never be able to run into each other ordinarily, then he sees Joanna and smiles, walking over to their table.

“Hey Bones.” Jim says. He’s been calling Leo that ridiculous nickname on and off since they met at the hospital, by their third date it had irrevocably stuck.

“Jim.” Leo greets. “This is my daughter, Joanna. Jo, this is a friend of mine. Jim Kirk.”

“How do you do?” Jim offers politely and Joanna blushes.

“Very well, thank you.” Joanna says, the apples of her cheeks freckled and rosy and she looks goddamned adorable. Leo rolls his eyes when she asks if Jim will sit with them. “There’s plenty’a room.” She adds.

“I’d love to.” Jim says, so she shoves closer to the window and Jim slips in besides her, grinning at Leo like the complete infant that he is.

…

“He was really good with her.” Leo says during the quick lunch break of his next shift with Christine, Joanna’s been gone since Monday and he’s been working flat out since but Jim’s delight at the fact Jo was clearly enamoured by him still clings to Leo and makes him feel warm inside. “And he told me about his childhood, sort of, about his brother Sam, he’s got three boys, and his mother, she travels a lot. They’re not close. His father died when he was a kid, he was in the military.”

“So he’s letting you in then?” Christine smiles.

“This is only making it harder for me.” Leo admits.

“Because Jim wasn’t really meant to be in the running?” She questions.

“Yeah, I s’pose.” Leo nods. “

“Look Leo.” Christine starts. “Don’t pick the one you think is the better option on paper; pick the one that makes you a better guy full stop. Because that’s what a relationship is about, you being your best self.”

"You’re right, Chris.” Leo nods. “Thanks.”

…

Leo’s seeing Jim this weekend and he’s pretty sure he knows what he’s going to say, but when they finally get back to his house Jim stops at the door and smiles at Leo. “I should go. I should be a gentleman.” Jim says.

“Well.” Leo counters, taken aback by Jim’s sudden bashfulness. “I think I’m gentleman enough for both of us.”

Christine once said that Jim looked like the kind of guy you could have dirty, _filthy_ , sex with. And with Jim’s hands suddenly all over him, before Leo’s even got his key into the door, he can see where she was coming from. But as they get into the hallway and Jim is pulling off whatever piece of either one of their clothes he can get his hands on, his passion is more striking then how sexy he is. Leo likes the way Jim’s palms are firm as they run up the sides of his thighs and over his ribs, how Jim’s kiss is insistent along his neck and jaw line.

Leo’s never had sex on his kitchen worktop, it seems wholly unhygienic if not a little impractical, the marble is cold against his bare back but then Jim is in between his spread thighs and Leo loses his higher brain function. He spares a thought for Carol, how he’s going to have to call her in the morning and tell her he’s met someone, that she means a lot to him but just not like _that_. Once Jim’s worked his way inside Bones _Jim_ is all the doctor can think about. And rightly so, because Jim really is good at this. And, not for the first time, he’s glad he met Jim, although he’d never tell the kid that.

…

Leo doesn’t want to have to sneak out of his own house the next morning, but Jim’s left him no alternative. He woke up with Jim spooning him, arms tight around his waist and Jim’s head buried in the curve of his neck and shoulder. It was like Jim was clinging onto the best dream that was trying to elude him as he started to steer into wakefulness. Leo had some slight trouble extricating himself from the encasement of Jim’s body around his, but he managed it and he was up now, clean white t-shirt on and dark grey jeans hung low on his hips. He needs to ring Christine, and then Carol, and then maybe a priest.

“Leo?” Christine’s voice is steady as always, like no matter what he says it’ll be the same old same old.

“I slept with Jim.” Leo admits.

“And?” Christine prompts. “Can you walk?”

“It was good, really damn good. I can’t see Carol, I’m just going to call her and-”

“Don’t be an ass, Leo. You were raised in Georgia you call that woman and you take her for coffee and be the polite gentleman you always were.” Christine scolds. “Look I’m being paged, I gotta go.”

“Chris-” But the connection is cut and Leo sighs. This _isn’t_ how his morning was supposed to go.

“Morning.” Carol says when he’s finally built up the courage to dial her number.

“Hey.” Leo breathes. “I was wondering if we could do something today, just coffee, maybe? I need to talk to you.”

“Ah, okay.” She says. “Sure. I’ll see you at Ginger & Hobbs in an hour or so?”

“Perfect.” Leo says, they exchange goodbyes and then Leo heads back into the bedroom, foregoing calling a priest. He needs to locate his keys and then he needs to get out of the house, he fumbling around the bedroom as quietly as he can when he gets the shock of his life. Jim’s completely naked body is wrapped behind him, fingers trying to pull Leo’s t-shirt up.

“Hey.” He whispers, lips grazing Leo’s stubble.

“Hey yourself.” Leo says gently, laying his hands over Jim’s and pulling them away.

“Why’re you dressed?” Jim asks. “Where’re you going?”

“I ah, I’ve been called in, to the hospital, where I work, to cover a shift.” Leo lies, turning around to face Jim. _Jim_ , whose eyes are still sleepy and whose hair is sticking up all over the damned place.

“I thought maybe we could make pancakes or something.” Jim whispers, leaning forward to nip at Leo’s jaw. “Do you like pancakes?”

“Of course.” Leo murmurs hurriedly and then huffs. His heart is fluttering and he doesn’t know how to do this, this pressure, the lies, it’s making him crazy. “I’d love to have pancakes, who wouldn’t? I mean who the hell doesn’t like pancakes?” He counters eyes and voice clearly belying his worry while trying to be nonchalant. “Crazy people.” Leo’s body does this weird shaking thing as he shrugs and he’s obviously spazzing out and Jim _knows_ , he must _know_ because he just nods and murmurs _crazy people_ like it might be a question. “I gotta go. To the hospital.” Leo says, awkwardly pulling away from Jim, who looks disappointed and actually pulls the sheet off of the bed to wrap around his hips.

“Yeah.” Jim nods with a tiny, fragile, bird like, small. “Of course, right. No, that’s cool. I ah, I ah… Have a meeting anyway, so I’d have to-” And he vaguely gestures.

“Right.” Leo nods as if he believes Jim and then is compelled, by some sadistic deity, to say: “But last night was…” And he makes a lot of noises that might have turned into words of praise if he wasn’t floundering so hard from all this goddamned lying.

“Incredible.” Jim breathes and Leo’s heart thuds.

“Right.” Leo nods and realises he’s saying that a lot and Jim just looks so confused and disappointed and _oh God,_ Leo needs to get out of there right now. “Thank you.” Leo says. “For the..”

“Thank you.” Jim counters and they look at each other strangely and everything seems so strangled and strained and so Leo just excuses himself and high tails it out of his apartment.

…

“I’m really glad you called.” Carol says when they first sit down over coffee. She looks wonderful as always, pretty green satin dress playing up the difference in her eye colour, she’s an amazing woman. Probably the better choice, stable, thoughtful, humble – but Christine’s words ramble through his head and Leo knows she isn’t who makes him the better man. He takes her hand and intends to start the speech he’d written in his head on the way over here but then Jim is suddenly standing at the side of the table. Carol looks up at Jim with a threatening glare while Leo just glances worriedly from one to the other.

“Oh damn.” Leo breathes. “Jim, hi.”

“Carol we have to go.” Jim says quickly.

“What? You two ah… You two know each other? Wait… You two _know_ each other?” Leo demands.

“Leo it’s not like that.” Carol starts. “Are you doing this because you’re losing, Jim?” She snaps at the other blonde.

“Wait, losing? I don’t unders-”

“I’m not doing anything, Carol, we need to go.” Jim urges.

“Is this some sort of game?” Leo questions. “Are you one of those swinger couples, out to see who could bed the guy first?”

“Bones, please.” Jim says gently. “It wasn’t that. It’s-”

“I really don’t want to hear it.” Leo hisses, suddenly seething. “I trusted you.” He says, hoping he’s looking at Jim with as much betrayal as he currently feels. Bones ignores their shouts as he walks away, ignores their calls as he gets further down the street. He turns around when he hears the footsteps following him, turns to give Jim a piece of his mind but is met with an ugly looking bald man, tattoos all over his head and neck and a nasty looking hand gun being pushed into his abdomen. Leo huffs and reaches for his wallet, there’s nothing in it anyway.

“I don’t want your money.” The guys says. “I want your boyfriend.”

“Well you’re welcome to him.” Leo huffs.

“Get in the car.” The guy says pointing to a blacked out Range Rover that has just parked up beside them.

Leo thinks he can safely count this as the worst day of his life.

…

They use his phone to call Carol, who begins profusely apologising the minute she answers the phone, Jim cuts in with his own half-assed apology, throwing biting little comments at Carol and it’s clear they know each other well, they actually sound like they’d be pretty close, good friends. Leo would feel bad for coming between that if he wasn’t currently being kidnapped.

“You meet us at 321 Romeo Drive, San Pedro, it’s a warehouse. You come alone, no police, no other agents or you get his head in the mail.” Nero, which Leo now knows because the Russian’s holding him hostage have all _politely_ introduced themselves, says before putting down the phone.

About thirty minutes into their drive Leo can hear shots being fired and the Russians lean out of every available window and give as good as their getting, Leo’s medicinal instincts tell him to start stabilising gunshot wounds as and when they get them but he refrains, and can’t actually do much when Nero climbs into the back seat and pushes two of his own men out onto the freeway. They were practically dead anyway but the brutality of it terrifies him. Jim is suddenly opening the other door, he’s leaning from the car door of his own vehicle and pulling Leo out and away from Nero.

“Dammit Jim, what the fuck is going on?” Leo demands when he’s safely in the pristine Chevy and now they are the ones being chased.

“I have to be honest, Bones, I’m not an airline pilot.” Jim says with a rueful smirk.

“No shit!” Leo snaps. “Is this something to do with the military?” He looks at Carol. “Do you even work for the military?”

“I used to, six or seven years ago.” Carol smiles, just swerving in time to dodge a well-aimed bullet to the head.

“We’re CIA.” Jim says.

“Leo, take the wheel.” Carol says, upholstering a gun from a strap around her thigh. Leo sputters and panics but has no choice because she’s clambering into the back with Jim to shoot down the final Range Rover that’s still on their tale.

“I missed you.” Jim laughs at Carol who takes out Nero’s right hand man.

“I missed you too.” Carol agrees, trusting Jim to hold her as she leans way too far out of the vehicle.

“Oh my God.” Leo huffs. Then they’re driving down an incomplete freeway and Nero is gaining on them. Leo’s running out of road and he’s going to have to swerve and hope to God the breaks are good enough to keep them from edging over the cliff. But the car is going too fast and is going to end up diving into that quarry of road-work rubble. Jim throws a petrol canister under the wheel of Nero’s car and shoots it, the thing explodes and the blaze only seems to propel them even closer to the edge. Leo slams on the break, turns the car around and clenches his eyes shut.

He only opens his eyes when the car has come to a complete stop. He can hear Jim’s breathing and feels Carol’s hand on his shoulder.

“I hope you can forgive her, Bones. She’s the best woman I know. She’ll be good to you and to Jo. I’m sorry that I lied to you, but it wasn’t a game…” Jim starts.

“Ah, bollocks Jim. You two belong with each other.”  Carol counters.

“Look, Carol, thanks but you and I both know he already made his choice.” Jim says, and Leo thinks he must be talking about the fact that he left Jim in bed this morning to have coffee with Carol.

“No.” Leo huffs. “No I haven’t. Well I have, but no... Jim, you got it all wrong. But then…” Leo scoffs, suddenly annoyed again. “You lied to me. And I mean, do you even care that much? Isn’t this about who got the guy, well you got me Jim, you had me last night. I guess that makes you the winner, right? Now the challenge is gone you’ll be off on your merry way.”

“No, Bones. Maybe I was like that, maybe it might have been like that if it had happened sooner, but I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I _slept_ with you last night. You know… like, _fell asleep beside_ you. That’s never happened to me before. And it’s not like I haven’t been short of offers. We’ve been dating for like a month, but I just- I don’t stop thinking about you. I understand if you can’t trust me, but my job isn’t normally something I come out and tell people.” Jim explains.

“And we could hardly tell you we knew each other without blowing everything, we got competitive, we’re like that, Jim and I. But he really is a good man, Leo. The only man I’d take a bullet for anyway.” She says. “I heard you on the phone to Christine today. I ah, I bugged your phone.” She laughs, like it’s just a silly little thing they can all laugh about. “Jim will make you a better guy, and I think you’ll do the same for him. I knew what you had to say when we met for coffee this morning. I was hoping maybe you’d change your mind, because you really are one hot piece of stuff McCoy.” She says, the colloquial language jarring against her British accent. “I’d like to meet Christine though.” She says with an unashamed smirk.

“Oh Christ.” Leo rolls his eyes, trying not to laugh or cry.

“Bones-” But Leo doesn’t want to hear it, and Jim’s face is right there, in between the neck cushions of the two front seats, so he kisses him instead. Let’s that say everything he hasn’t been able to.

“Jim Kirk.” He introduces when they pull away and Leo smiles, despite himself.

“Leo McCoy.” Leo says. “You’re gonna make me regret this aren’t you?”

“Every damn day.” 


End file.
